The Pace of Life
Ok, here we go. Some times I listen to people talk about all the experiences they have had since they got out of high school. Mostly people who graduated the same year I did, and sometimes it makes me feel like I haven't experienced enough in my life at this point. But the thing is I am only 20 years old.
Some people have done a lot of partying and experimenting (let your mind wonder), but the most I have done is go to college and get a job as an intern. I have never gotten drunk or tried weed. I have never felt the need to do those things. But lately I feel like my life is moving to slow. I know this is a surprise because I am so young, but I feel like I need to do more. But at the same time i look at my age and realize that I have so much time ahead of me. So I have so much time to do the things that I want to do. But is my life passing me by because I am not living at such a fast pace?
I don't think so, I feel that I am doing things at the pace I should be. Because I feel that since me and my family went through so many struggles when I was a child, I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents or relatives did. So, I am a little more cautious with the decisions I make and I keep all my personal struggles between me and one other person. I usually don't care for others opinions so I don't tell them much. I am ok with making the wrong decision from time to time. At least I made a decision, which is more than what I could say for most people my age. I don't like drama so I stay away from it. Some times I feel that I am a 30 year old trapped in a 20 year old's body. Its just that,when people put Y.O.L.O on there facebook status as they rave over the fact that they are going to the club or getting drunk or got drunk the night before. I feel that it is a little childish. But who am I to judge, sometimes I wish I could party like they do, just to let go of all the worry I have in my life.
I don't know, maybe I feel stagnet in my own life. Maybe I want more. Or maybe I'm waiting for the more in my life. I know people will say that "you cant wait for things to happen, you have to make them happen". But sometimes forcing something to happen can make the situation you get your self in to, the wrong situation. So I don't force things to happen, I let them happen as they should. If the things that happen to me in the future work out in my favor, then that's great. But if they don't, I cant say I wont be sad. I cant say I wont break down. But I can say, I wont stick around, when I know things are bad and, probably, wont get better. I will say that even if I do fall apart, I will push myself back up. Because I choose to never stay down for long. I also promise myself that I wont let any one take away my happiness. No matter, how hard they try, no man or woman is going to take away what makes me who I am.
I don't know if I will be able to keep these promises to myself, but I know I am going to try. I guess the point of all this is that my age has no meaning towards my maturity and I have no idea whats going to happen in my future. Whatever it is, I know that I will be able to deal..
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